Once again,
I hate dreams.
Or at least dreams that makes things seem good.
But is in fact, NOT, in reality.

How many times do I have to continuously dream about this?
It has been like what?
4 nights now?
Stop torturing me that way...
Making me happy for a moment...
Just to wake up to find that it was all a dream.

Dream.
Dream.
Dream.

Sometimes i say
ENOUGH!
If i clearly do not mean even the slightest bit to you anymore
then you shouldn't to me too.

Why should i care?
When you don't?

Why should i torment myself over you?
When you don't?

But then again, i do not want to be like you.
So perhaps i should continue caring and being tormented.

Sometimes i wonder what you think about.
How do u feel.

Are you doing alright?
Are you happy?
Will i ever see you again?
Do you care if you never saw me again?

I NEED to stop.
I really NEED to stop.
Either I need to become stronger, with a heart of stone.
Or beg you to just end this misery for me.

Because as hard as it is to believe,
It's killing me,
inside,
day by day,
every minute,
i'm another step closer to dying.

(no i'm not being dramatic)
(sigh)

It's only 10.14am
Still have another 14 hours at least before i can crawl back into bed.
Sigh.
And tomorrow it's Monday all over again.
Double sigh.


p/s: Msia and I are 14 hours apart now.
Yeah. awesome.
Lagi cannot talk to people now.

Tata.
Have a good week, everyone!

xoxo